But what actually happens in Relational Life Therapy Sessions?

by Jenny Peetoom, MC

Most couples are nervous to engage in couples therapy. Cracking open your relationship for a stranger to assess and suggest changes can feel vulnerable.   Knowing what is going to happen when you move through the therapy process can ease some angst.  Here’s what you can expect as you move through the RLT process…

Stage 1:  The What

In this stage, the therapist is gathering data with the couple to clearly identify exactly what happens when your relationship experiences disharmony.  By developing a very specific, clear map of what each partner does when in “relationship rupture” the therapist can provide specific, tailor-made strategies for the repair process.  This stage is about diagnosing the “relationship dance.”  Once we understand our current dance, we can more easily learn the steps to a new dance!

Stage 2 - The Why

This is where RLT deviates a little from other types of couple’s therapy.  In this stage the therapist is helping each partner to understand and more effectively manage what shows up within themselves during times of disharmony.  Here, in the presence of your partner, you work on noticing and understanding your own emotional distress and learning ways to calm this distress so that you can respond thoughtfully rather than have knee-jerk reactions to relationship ruptures. 

Stage 3 - The How

Once each partner can recognize what they do, and why, and can move from reacting to responding, the therapist will teach the couple specific relationship skills that foster repair, connection, and healthy communication.  The couple then practices applying these skills from a place of openness and calmness, and with the shared goal of being as relational as possible. 

Interested in giving this a try?  Southport Psychology is one of the few practices in town with multiple RLT trained therapists. 

We invite you to reach out if you think that RLT might be a good fit for you and your partner.